TAKE YOUR MEDICINE

Thursday September 10, 2009

TAKE YOUR MEDICINE

I am just back from taking my husband for a doctor's appointment. The "doctor's visit" was really a nurse practitioner's appointment. Perhaps someone in this country gets to see a real doctor but it certainly isn't us. It seems my husband will survive but, God help me, I am not sure if I'm going to make it. Let me explain....My husband is an ADD toddler who is off his medication stuffed into the body of a 67 year old man. No he doesn't have dementia, this is just how he is. On top of it he has a severe aversion to anything related to medical care.


Finally, after being sick and coughing for 6 weeks, he consents to a doctor's appointment. Since I don't trust him to actually go to the doctor or tell the truth if he should make it there, I decided to take him myself. The trouble begins in my car when he punches every button "just so he can see what it does." Once inside the office he paces and fidgets in the waiting room threatening to leave every 2 minutes. After some time we are escorted into an exam room to wait some more. In this smaller space there isn't adequate pacing room so he begins to look through the cabinets. A nurse and then the nurse practitioner come in to examine him and he suddenly decides to become charming. He wants to talk about everything but why he is there. (How's the hunting? Do you like to fish?) I have to take over reporting his symptoms, asking for his prescription refills, reminding them he needs blood work drawn, and having them look at a suspicious mole. We leave with almost everything accomplished but the staff is now giving my husband small tight smiles of condolence over his bossy wife.

The fun is not yet over. We go to the pharmacy to get his medication. It is not yet ready and my husband actually says, "Well slip us a viagra and we'll wait in the car." I drag him away from the counter before he can embarrass me or the young pharmacy clerk any more. He is not embarrassed. No, he chuckles to himself as he walks up and down the candy aisle getting peanuts and candy to go with his cholesterol medicine. Of course he makes it back to the counter in time to hear the huge amount the medication costs and fuss about it.

I eventually did get him and the appropriate medication home. I have to admit that during the entire drive home I was thinking, "I'm going to kill him if he doesn't start acting better." However once I had calmed myself with an emergency glass of wine and a wee bit of chocolate, I realized that obviously I had no intentions of killing my husband. I knew this because I found myself carefully counting out a week's worth of his medication to keep with our evacuation supplies. I guess I really love this cranky old man. Maybe I should just go back to the pharmacy and ask them for some tranquilizers? If not for him then for me.

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