Friday, October 29, 2010

Have You Told Oprah?

Friday October 29, 2010



Once again today someone asked me for the thousandth time, “Have you told Oprah about the book and what you're doing?" Once again today I truthfully replied, "No." The follow up question, as always, had a slightly accusatory edge to it. "Well why not? Oprah should be told." I come away from these exchanges thinking people can be so unfair.

Maybe that's not a nice thing to say about the otherwise sane people who make these Oprah remarks. I want to be nice and I try to be nice. I absolutely believe there should be more niceness in the world. This belief is the only reason I continue trying to be nice when secretly I have lost all interest in niceness. The truth is there are just times when niceness is hard to sustain.

I would like to take this opportunity to clarify my relationship to Oprah. I don't have her personal phone number on my speed dial. Oprah and I don't have lunch together or do girl trips. We are not even pen pals. Yes, I do feel as if I know Oprah from watching her show and reading her magazine. Oprah on the other hand doesn't have a clue who I am so I CAN'T TELL OPRAH!

Why is it the world views Oprah in such a completely different light from all other celebrities? Is it because she has been a consistent presence (through her TV show) in our lives for so many years? Maybe, but I think the real answer lies with the quality of the time she has spent with us. Oprah has tackled some tough problems which often mirror the challenges we face in our own lives. The public has come to trust and respect her opinion. Most people I meet view Oprah as a distant family member who should be informed and consulted about important events. Although I would love to keep Oprah fully up to date on my activities, once again, we don't know each other!

However I will let you in on a secret. I have a reoccurring dream which involves an Indian village and Oprah. In this dream I enter a large tee pee and sit down on the ground before a tribal council. At first all I can see are three figures with their heads bent down wearing large feathered headpieces. When the three figures look up I see Oprah in the middle with Ellen on one side and Paula Dean on the other. They begin to speak to me but I can't understand what they are saying. I can see their lips moving and realize what they are trying to tell me is important. I'm desperately trying to make out their message but I can't understand the words.

However I haven't given up hope. I believe that one night I will have this dream and suddenly the words will become clear in my head. I plan to sit there and absorb every bit of wisdom and guidance they offer me. And then do you know what I plan to do? When I finally unlock the dream language and can communicate with the 3 wise women I will take this opportunity to tell Oprah all about my book and what I'm doing.

Additional evacuation information available at www.wineandchocolateplan.com

Monday, October 11, 2010

Hurricane's Verbal Path



Monday October 11, 2010

Has anyone else ever been driven crazy by some unknown or forgotten piece of knowledge? It could be a forgotten song lyric, book title, or locker combination. It could be a never known personal blood type. The lack of knowledge starts out as an annoyance, progress to irritation, and before you know it you are completely obsessed. When this happens there is nothing to be but surrender to the obsession and go find out the answer.

Yesterday I was reading something on hurricanes and suddenly thought, "I wonder where the word hurricane came from?" I tried to go on reading but my attention had already been derailed by my need to find out the origin of the word hurricane. I surrendered and here is what I learned.

The experts seem to have some disagreement on the issue. Some sources say hurricane is derived from the Carib god, Hurican; while other sources say the word was derived from one of the Mayan creator gods, Hurakan. I am old enough to still give ultimate authority to my old friend The Merriam-Webster Dictionary. This reliable reference traces the hurricane verbal path back to the Spanish huracan which in turn came from the Taino's hurakan. Most experts in this field of study say that the original meaning was simply storm. (To be fair there are also some pretty smart scholars out there who argue that the original meaning was storm god or evil spirit.)

Hurricane is a word which came to English language directly from the Spanish language with no Latin involvement. The first European to document the occurrence of these mighty storms was Christopher Columbus in 1495 while sailing in the West Indies. So now we know all about the origin of the word hurricane. If any of you should win a trivia game with this information I want to know about it.

Additional evacuation information at www.wineandchocolateplan.com

Friday, October 1, 2010

Kitchen Disaster


October 1,2010 Friday

I had an unfortunate kitchen disaster a few days ago. This is not an uncommon occurrence for me (I seriously doubt anyone would ever confuse me with a domestic goddess). Usually my kitchen disasters involve fire and something burning. However, this time I unleashed a new disaster-the kitchen flood.

It all started out so innocently. I put my tea kettle in the middle of the kitchen sink (directly on top of the drain hole) and turned the water on to fill it. Then I received a phone call which required me to check my desk calender. After the call I decided to attend to some work since I was already at my desk. Fifteen minutes later I am industriously typing away when I hear a disturbing gurgling sound. Only then did I realize I had forgotten to turn the water off! I rushed back into the kitchen to find water overflowing the sink, down the cabinet, drenching everything inside the cabinet, and now starting to cover the floor.

Of course, this kitchen flood was completely my fault. I wasn't paying attention to the possible danger. I underestimated the potential damage of a little obstructed stream of water. It was a good reminder of the power (both constructive and destructive) of water.

Since flood danger is so fresh in my mind I feel it is time to review some important flood terms.

FEMA FLOOD TERMS

Flood Watch: Flooding is possible. Tune in to NOAA Weather Radio, commercial radio, or television for information.

Flash Flood Watch: Flash flooding is possible. Be prepared to move to higher ground; listen to NOAA Weather Radio, commercial radio, or television for information.

Flood Warning: Flooding is occurring or will occur soon; if advised to evacuate, do so immediately.

Flash Flood Warning: A flash flood is occurring; seek higher ground on foot immediately.

Additional evacuation information available at www.wineandchocolateplan.com