Tuesday December 29, 2009
A surprising thing happened after the publication of my book, The Wine and Chocolate Evacuation Plan. I originally wanted to write a little guidebook designed to assist women in evacuating from natural disasters. I worked hard and was very happy when I had accomplished my goal. Then my book found a following among a very different group of people in need, victims of domestic violence.
At almost every single public appearance I have made someone has told me that the book would be used by someone preparing to leave a domestic abuse relationship. At first I was caught off guard by these comments since domestic violence was nowhere in my mind during the writing of the book. I even wondered how helpful my book could actually be since there is not one single reference to anything related to domestic abuse in The Wine and Chocolate Plan. However people have repeatedly told me that it is this absence which is a big part of the book's appeal. Victims feel that no harm will come to them by bringing this particular book into their home.
I did have some experience with abused women through my years as a nurse. I felt sad for all the many women (most of them so young) who told me their stories. Although I thought I had an understanding of their circumstances, I can see now that I didn't have a clue. I didn't really understand until it happened in my own family and to me personally.
I am now helping a close family member leave a domestic abuse situation. The violence spilled over to me personally and I now understand. I realize why so many women feel they must stay and "take it". I get why you don't pick up the phone to call the police and how the threats to harm someone you love keeps you from doing what you know deep down is the right thing. I understand because that is what I did and you know what? I was wrong. Not doing anything only gave the abuser more power and made things worse. Yes, leaving is dangerous and very hard but staying is harder and much more dangerous.
My resolution this year is to try and help my family member specifically and other victims through my book. I have already started donating books to woman's shelters. I am asking anyone out there with an idea of how I or my book could be helpful in this cause to please contact me.
Additional evacuation information available at www.wineandchocolateplan.com
